How to Lose an Oscar in 10 Months

We’ve decided to make an inglorious comeback after our months of absence. Actually this will also explain the true story behind the period of inactivity of our production company. We have literally been through casting Hell which is why we’ve decided to make a film about it and have everyone involved play their actual roles.



Our main character is the director (played in the film by an actual pro in the field, namely Steven Spielberg) and his world centers around the script to what is sure to make a future iconic film that generations will forever watch and quote lines from it kinda like Titanic Serendipity Sweet November…. A great romance set in the middle of the most terrible calamity the world has seen : the Economical Crisis. Moreover, the screenplay is said to be by far the best work of screenwriter Woody Allen.
As I said … the film starts with a shot of the director holding the screenplay in one hand and a telephone in the other hand. “I most certainly will not cast Brad Pitt in this film !He’s not the One. It should be someone like Tom Cruise… get me his agent on the phone pronto, say that the leading lady is Marion Cotillard, that should get the contract signed.”
Fast forward to the moment when the director decides to take action himself because he can’t get through to the actor and goes to South Africa where Cruise is on set filming. Sadly when the director gets there Cruise refuses the part because he prefers to act in the new Hannah Montana film.You have to understand the poor guy…losing face to newcomers like Taylor Lautner makes you want to extend your fanbase to tweens.



While everybody is dumbstruck by this refusal, enter Hollywood Hottie Brad Pitt.

Pitt is taken on as a last resort and the screenplay is slightly altered. We have finally reached the moment when preproduction has started and everything is going well. Producers Spielberg and Hanks are quite pleased with the first scenes filmed and it looks like this one is all set to get some Academy Awards.
Obviously, when everything is going well, real life, as well as screenwriters usually do, has to add a little twist and turn to the plot: we find out the Pitt had a nervous breakdown, is divorcing Angelina and moving to Tibet. We’ve actually flied Edward Norton to talk some sense into him and we haven’t gotten any answer from either one of them yet, so everyone stopped speaking of it and we decided to kill the project.
Luckily, Spielberg decided to go out to a party to drink and forget about the loss of a great Oscar opportunity. Like most Hollywood parties the place was packed with celebrities and then it happened: a nice love song played in the background and their eyes met. Spielberg had found a new actor for the part : Steve Carell (Yeah I know that there’s a big difference between Cruise and Carell but cut us some slack we wanted to make this movie happen).

One of the producers suddenly begins to promote Clive Owen for the part saying that he is just the handsome hunk that this film needs in order to become a blockbuster. The pressure gets even greater. We get sudden threats from Woody Allen that if we don’t get Cruise to act and thus ruin his masterpiece he’ll kill himself and even worse …withdraw our rights to the screenplay beforehand.



WHAT WILL OUR HERO DO NOW?
WILL HE SAVE WOODY ALLEN ?
IS THE FILM GOING TO BE MADE AFTER ALL ?
WILL BRAD PITT SNAP OUT OF HIS MIDLIFE CRISIS ?
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The answers to these questions in PART 2 ! The story got so dramatic that we, like many other Hollywood financial schemers, have decided to split it into TWO(!) parts and release the other part next summer in August.
How to lose an Oscar in ten months – the first part of the epic saga THIS DECEMBER in IMAX 3D
- Part II of the saga AUGUST 2011